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THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS--Coastal Style

 

’Tis the season for Christmas Carols, and parodies thereof.  Perhaps the most parodied song ever (seasonal or otherwise) is "The Twelve Days of Christmas".  Who amongst us hasn’t smiled when we heard the barking dogs’ version or the Redneck tune?  Today I offer up a slightly different version of my own making that represents beach life.  Feel free to sing along! 

On the first day of Christmas, I saw along the shore:
A lighthouse with a red door.
 
On the second day of Christmas, I saw long the shore:
Two fiddler crabs;
  And a lighthouse with a red door.
 

A WALK ON THE BEACH with Yours Truly!

It seems only fair if my fellow Mutt Mysteries authors reveal a little about themselves on this blog, that I do so, too! So, today I’ve “interviewed” myself. Read on to learn more about me, Jayne Ormerod, and a few of my favorite beach things. And a bonus at the end, in lieu of a bio I’ve included memories of my childhood Christmases. 

What’s your favorite beach to visit? Being a military spouse, I have spent most of my adult life living within a flip-flop’s throw of the ocean. (There was that two-year tour in Memphis, TN. Yes, the military has some offices in Millington. Go figure.) But since I’m not much of a sitter, I like a beach with some action, so I have to say the rocky shores along Easton Bay in Newport, RI. Cliff Walk makes for a fabulous stroll, with the water breaking below you and the ostentatious mansions on the other. My all-time favorite Cliff Walk experience was a snowy New Year’s Eve. We were the only ones crazy enough to be out there in that weather, and the icy snow made the rocky path very slippery. But it was absolutely magical.  

YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW...

 <<Originally posted August 2015>>

You may think it odd when I tell you I haven’t flown since the 9-11 terrorist attacks on the U.S. Actually, I haven’t flown since well before then, and only because a short notice event (a funeral) prevented me from making the journey via what experts consider the less safe (but it keeps for wheels on the ground) option, my SUV. It’s not that I have allowed terrorists to frame my fear, but that I have developed my own fear based on experimentations with gravity conducted as a child. I pretended to be a graceful red Cardinal and took flight out of a tree—and promptly landed in a painful heap on the cold, rocky ground. This attempt at flying necessitated a trip to the ER, which meant I couldn’t attend my best friend’s birthday party that afternoon. (I was more upset about missing the pony rides than having to wear a cast for six weeks, but I digress.) My point is, if a little, lithe (and I was but a sprite of a child) me couldn’t maintain a state of airborne-ness for more than two seconds, how can a behemoth piece of metal carrying a hundred people be able to soar at 34,000 feet without crashing to the ground?

A WALK ON THE BEACH with Maria Hudgins

 Maria Hudgins was the first ever mystery writer I ever met as she stood on the precipice of her first launch, Death of an Obnoxious Tourist. She has gone on to achieve publishing greatness, with seven full-length mysteries and many short stories. We were so thrilled she accepted our invite to hop aboard the Mutt Train for To Fetch a Villain. Her story, “At Your Service” introduces Mystery writer Jessica Chastain, who is deaf. She relies on her service dog Trey who acts as Jessica’s ears. Kim, a Bichon like Trey, is the latest addition to their family. But life is not a walk in the park when someone threatens all they hold dear. Together they take on an unethical breeder and dog-napper, whose bite is worse than his bark. Enough about the story, let’s learn more about Maria.

What’s your favorite beach to visit? I like the beach at old Nags Head, down around the 13-15 mile posts. The houses there are old style for the most part and it’s not crowded.

A WALK ON THE BEACH with Heather Weidner

Today we are strolling along the sandy shores with Heather Weidner. She is the author of "Strut Your Mutt", in our latest anthology, To Fetch a Villain. In her story, Sassy PI Delanie Fitzgerald attends the Strut Your Mutt festival, where her business partner’s English bulldog is a finalist in a pampered doggie pageant. The dog’s new-found fame leads to a client with a missing poodle. Delanie and her team put paws to the pavement, sniff out clues, and show the villain that when you lie with the dogs, you wake up with fleas. Enough about the story. Let's chat with Heather.

What’s your favorite beach to visit? I love all beaches. I have visited some awesome beaches in Florida, North Carolina, Hawaii, and Mexico. But being a native (“Local”), my heart will always be in Virginia Beach.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN ASPIRING MYSTERY WRITER

 

<<This blog first appeared in August, 2011>>

4:00 a.m. My husband kisses me goodbye before heading off to work. I stretch like a calico coming out of a catnip-induced coma and plot—literally—the day. Bailey, the quirky amateur sleuth in my current work-in-progress, keeps trying to jump into bed with Dante, my hunky, reluctant-sidekick cop. He’s yummier than Godiva white chocolate domes with raspberry truffle filling. Were I single—and fictional—I’d probably be romancing the pants off him myself. But, we’re only in chapter two, and steamy sex without emotional commitment makes a girl look sleazy. How can I convince Bailey to wait until chapter five at least?