Beach Tale: The Hilarious Adventures of Dillon in Deagu

 

        Those of you of a certain vintage may remember the “I Love Lucy” episodes where Cousin Ernest (played by Tennessee Ernie Ford) comes for a visit.  So Country Bumpkin in the Big City makes for big laughs.  You can watch the entire episode here:  http://www.tv.com/shows/i-love-lucy/tennessee-ernie-visits-17131/

          It’s just as funny (in hindsight anyway) when a rather-sheltered young man heads off to see the world.  My son, like Lucy, is a red-head, which sometimes seems to equate for a magnet for troublesome situations.  You can’t help but laugh.  So I'm thinking I'll put my writing skills to work and develop a sitcom of my own.  I'll call it "The Hilarious Adventures of Dillon in Deagu".  All based on actual escapades of my son.  Like I say, I can laugh…now…

  

  Series Premier Episode:
          A two-suitcase limit is difficult for the most frugal of international travelers.  But packing for an entire year (possibly more) is not for the feint of heart.  My son Dillon (name changed to protect the innocent) faced that challenge in 2012. 

          Enter our main character, a young lad who thinks it necessary to include a year’s supply of soaps, shampoos, toothpastes and other essentials for his journey. That doesn't leave much room room left for clothes (starting with 45 of his favorite t-shirts) and posters and electronic devices, etc.   He shoves everything into two of the biggest rolling duffle bags (one bright red, one brilliant blue) that Lands End sells. I mean seriously, they are big enough to hide a dead body! (In fact, that gives me an idea!  Look for a body in a duffle in one of my upcoming mysteries!) 

Beach Tale: Home Sweet Home

 In the spirit of Earth Day 2013, it seems a fitting time to "recycle" one of my stories.  And in light of the fact I'm now a card-carrying member of the real estate-agent brigade, this story spoke to me on a different level.  It was originally posted on July 11, 2011 when this blog was in its infancy, so should be a "fresh" read for many of you.  Enjoy!    

         I’d read Jameson Lee Clemmons’ purchaser profile with interest and painted a mental image of a gracefully aging southern gentleman who resembled Colonel Sanders. No marital status was required when purchasing a house with cash, but if he showed up for our two o’clock appointment with no spouse in tow, I’d fix him up with my Aunt Meg up for dinner tomorrow night.  Maybe someday she’d return the favor.

          I hit the PRINT button on my computer and the laser jet wheezed to life at the same time the bell over the front door jangled. “Just a minute,” I called. Grabbing the stack of printouts of suitable properties, I headed for the reception area. “Can I help...” My words were replaced by the sound of a girlish giggle that bubbled forth. From me! But what red-blooded woman of child-bearing years wouldn’t have a similar reaction upon coming face to face with this sun-bronzed surfer type? Aged mid- to late-thirties, if I were to hazard a guess.  The perfect age for me!

          “I have an appointment with Tara Quinlan.”

          Even his voice had a sun-drenched tinge. “Jameson Lee Clemmons?” I squeaked.

          “Just J.C. please.”

         

Beach Tale: Mystery by the Sea

Are you an aspiring Nancy Drew?  Have you always wanted  to assemble clues and figure out whodunit?  Here is your chance.  This short story has all of the clues, you just need to puzzle them together to find out who the guilty party is.  The solution is at the end.  Happy Sleuthing!

“Mystery By the Sea"

A Sleuth-It Yourself Mystery”

          Thank goodness for the ocean breeze, I thought as I finished my walk and crossed the sand towards home.  The thermometer had topped out at 102 degrees a few hours ago.  The trek along the shore with waves bubbling at my ankles and bay breezes blowing over my skin had cooled me off and re-energized my mind and body. I felt ready to get back to work.  As I headed for the stairs that led up to my carriage house apartment, the elderly woman who lived in the main house came running to meet me.

          “Cassie, I need your help,” Mrs. Williamson said, wringing her hands in that nervous way she had.

          “What’s wrong?”

          “My ruby and sapphire necklace, the one given to my great-great-grandmother by a crowned prince in Europe, has been stolen.  And the thief is in my house right now!”

Beach Tale: Carriage House Reveal!

A dear friend who currently lives in America’s heartland (waving atcha Linda H!) gently reminded me that I had NEVER posted the finished pictures of our carriage house construction project! 

For those of you new to this blog, last summer my husband and I donned our General Contractor hats and oversaw the completion of a 484-square-foot carriage house over our 2-car detached garage.  It was a learning lesson on ooohhhhh, so many levels, but we completed it in time for the Holiday Season.  So far we have been honored to have guests stay there and enjoy the beach lifestyle.  Upon our son's return home from his southeast Asia walkabout, he'll hunker down for a bit.  Then the big plan is to turn it over to renters to generate a little income to pad our retirement pay.  

But the important thing is, it is DONE and turned out very nice, if I do say so myself.  So upon the urging of my aforementioned friend I snapped a few pictures while it is still in its relative newness (bound to change after son takes up residence...) and am posting them for those of you curious as to how the project turned out.

So, this is where we started, with steps....

leading up to this....

And now, after a huge investment of time, energy, sweat, and money, (<<Drumroll please.....>>we have this:

Beach Tale: The Sniper Sisters

It's rerun season here at the Life's a Beach Blog as my life priorities continue to weigh on the Real Estate Side.  But Friday returns with fresh content and a great beach chat and I'll be back in my writing chair from then on. But today it's a rerun.  Not just any rerun, mind you, but the very first "mystery" I ever wrote!  It has a special place in my heart and I wanted to share it with all of my new followers who have joined the rolls since the story was last published in October, 2011.  And those of you who have already read it might enjoy it again! So here's a little story I like to call...

The Sniper Sisters

 

      “It’s my turn to pull the trigger.”  Evie straddled the large fallen tree blocking the trail.  With a grunt, she hauled her left leg over and set both sensibly-clad feet on the ground, enjoying a moment’s rest as her older-by-three-minutes sister Dot struggled with the obstacle.

          “No, you knocked off Marty Knudsen last week, remember?”  Dot executed an awkward belly roll over the log, momentum carrying her until she landed in a pile of damp, decomposing leaves at Evie’s feet.

          “Of course I remember,” Evie snarled.  “Direct hit to his heart.  But you got the three before that.”  

          “Only because your shot on Alma Schaeffer went wide and took out Cuddles McGee instead.”           

          “It didn’t go wide.  I meant to shoot that damn cat.  It left two more goldfinches on my doorstep that morning.”

          Dot struggled to her feet in the wobbly, ungainly manner of a camel, then brushed the dirt off her knees.  “If I hadn’t acted quickly to take Alma out, she would have gotten us first.  You were taking too long to reload.  Not my fault you screwed up your turn.”

Beach Excerpt: THE BLOND LEADING THE BLOND

          If you are a facebook friend of mine, then you are aware that for these first three weeks in March I am involved in an INTENSE Principals of Real Estate class, which should (if all goes well) prepare me enough to pass the national exam and get my agent's license.  To that end, there is no writing go on here.  And by that I mean, no writing of any sort.  No books, no stories, no emails and especially no blog posts.  I did have the foresight to book my beach chat guests, but didn't really think about putting fingers to keyboard for my own posts.  So, I'm "cheating" a little bit by offering up an excerpt of The Blond Leading the Blond.  This is from the end of chapter four, and is written in the first person of Ellery Tinsdale, an amateur sleuth--and a most reluctant one at that--as she gets to know some of her new neighbors in Braddocks Beach, Ohio.  Enjoy!

          We ate.  We talked.  We laughed.  A lot.  Sam only had to coach me one more time on my manners. “Corn should be eaten left to right, like a typewriter,” she’d whispered in my ear when racing off to greet some late-arriving guests. Who’d a thunk? She buzzed back to our table, and with her once again seated across from me, I didn’t dare lick the basil butter from my fingers. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute.” I climbed out from under the picnic table. My dinner companions nodded. George and Doodles stood up when I did, after I felt Sam kick George under the table, that is. I was glad I wasn’t the only one who needed prompting when it came to all things mannerly.

Beach Tale: YARD OF THE MONTH

          My first gardening catalog came addressed to “Robert S. Jones or Current Resident.” That was me--Current Resident.  We’d just made our fourth move in two years in conjunction with my husband’s Naval career.  His orders were for twenty-four months.  Long enough to plant perennials.      

          I thought a showed a great deal of restraint when I limited myself to a $500 order.  A rainbow of reds, blues and yellows.  A variety of curious textures.   My home would stand out from the others in this newly-constructed cookie-cutter neighborhood.  Okay, so I would eat nothing but macaroni and cheese for two months, but with the Yard of the Month awarded by my neighborhood association came a $50 gift certificate to the hardware store, so it would offset the scales a bit.  And based on the glossy pictures of what my gardens would look like, I was a sure winner.